Monday, June 11, 2012

Orange Juice

Meanwhile, in Holland, the Orange Fever has hit the masses like a real trooper of a virus. Orange Fever -‘Oranjekoorts’- is our word for the madness that occurs during the European Soccer Cup, and other huge sporting events. Everyone and everything is drenched in orange. Clothes, faces, babies, bars and even entire streets. We are clearly social animals that like to herd. 

I’m dreading to admit, but I used to be in the herd. Two years ago I had a severe case of Oranjekoorts. After we lost the WC final against Sp%#n I actually got into a huge fight for having thrown a glass of water (vodka) towards (in the face of) a Spanish guy (girl). My dear Albert-Heijn Beesies were severely damaged, the red-white-blue flag on my cheek was dramatically smeared out because of the tears I’d shed and my Bavaria dress was drenched in beer and other bodily fluids: In short, I was a complete mess.

Ever since that dark period of my summer of 2010, I have been awaiting the EC 2012 with much anticipation. Premiums and ads included. And as expected, in the past month the brands have been swimming in an endless pool of orange juice, throwing around balls like true infantiles. 200-and-counting different gadgets, premiums, songs and ads. But why am I not wearing my orange nail polish yet? Why do I feel when it comes to the subject of soccer this year, there are so few nicely passed balls?

I remember vividly –just 2 years ago- hysterically chasing down the kids in the streets because they wouldn’t trade their collectibles with me. My walls were stacked high with crates of undrinkable beer I had bought in order to get the premiums I wanted. But this year I wouldn’t even consider walking the extra 100 meters for a supermarket who promises an orange wig with my beloved microwave-bitterballen.

Ok, it has been two years. I am 30 now. Maybe my disinterest has to do with the fact that I’ve grown into adolescence, a little. Or maybe the great number of premiums has flushed me. Or possibly it is because my parents are done spending money to collect things for me.
But, although I am highly in favor of alcohol abuse, I really do think that if one has to drink sixteen liters/gallons/miles of beer in order to get a ‘unique’ Heineken orange shirt with a number in the range of the 39281773 might be too much of the goodness. Especially if- God forbids- it ends up being binned after 7 days.

To quote a dear British colleague of mine: “There are so many orange shirted supporter montage ads, I cannot even name one.” After poking him 17 times he mentioned the one he found most annoying; “The Birdy song is a quirky tune that should be reserved for Aunt's wedding receptions ONLY. To remix it to an even worse state and then play it at people over and over again is a crime against humanity.”

So congratulations to the C1000 ad! Your ad stands out among the rest. At the least it made my friend realize that his TV is too big for his window.

And, for most of us (me): The song on repeat makes watching 11 men chasing down a ball a lot more fun.


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